I've learned how to use the to best effect the drugs to control my tummy monster. I've also learned that I can't "take a day off" from them - not for a while anyway. Several weeks on the Bovine Thymus seems to have helped my immune system - I'm no longer picking up every single "bug du jour" that meanders across my path. Things are going so well that I'm going to try a bit of gentle, light weight-lifting tomorrow, which often sets of one, if not both, health problems. One day at a time.

Saturday I plan on helping with the Ahimsa House dog wash - my idea of a good time:
http://apps.facebook.com/causes/106907/17213795?fb_page_id=21828713403&m=6d54c0aa

Funny as it is, it sounds suspiciously like old arguments allowing women in combat. :)

Via John Jones

The "re-branding" issue is the result of WIFTA's really interesting and useful auditioning presentation I attended a couple of weeks ago. One of the things mentioned was don't try to give them what you think they want, or even what they say they want - just be yourself. Which is not all that easy right now because, between illness and family disasters, I've lost track of myself for a few years. For the last year and a half I've been rediscovering myself. So I'm not just thinking about the exterior "brand" but what's inside the package.

I've realized that on-camera auditions I've become very quite and rather reticent. I certainly didn't used to be like that, back when I knew I really, really wanted to act. For the last year and a half I've been realizing I do love acting, but there was a been a 5 or 6 year period during which I wasn't that motivated to live, much less act. Or anything else.

I'm rediscovering the joy of just "being" and playing, which has always been at the very core of who I am. But because I'm figuring out who I am *now*, after several years of being rudderless, it makes it tough to figure out who I am in an audition.

Taking a class would really help but that's out of the question right now. I need to get a paid day job anyway, which would also likely also help pull me out of being overly reserved. I need to go back to making faces and talking to myself in the mirror - isn't that how all actors start out?

And I need to start caring what I look like again. I've been sort of doing that, but not in a conscious, organized way. I need to go through my closet and see what really "is me" and with everything that isn't either relegate it to the costume stash or get rid of it.

I may grow the hair moderately long again and dye it dark brown. Or I may keep it short, but not as short as it is now, at least not in the front and on top and I may or may not dye it. I'll have to see what I feel comfortable with.

There need to be fewer days where I hang out in worn-out yoga pants and tee shirts and more days taking taking the time to think about the image I present to myself so that the image I present to the world reflects how I see myself.

I've gotten in the habit of just floating through everything, like living in a soap bubble. I need to push myself out a little and make more of an effort to meet people half-way, instead of waiting for them to come in a get me.

This is good. Progress as a human being leads, (or *will* lead, I hope) to progress as an artist.

Generally speaking I like the "mask" that keeps people at large from knowing me the way they think they do. However, while looking like "the girl next door" worked for me for a long time as an actress, I find myself thinking that exterior might now be working against me. I keep going in for auditions, wearing a wig to look "normal" and people see that the interior doesn't really "jibe" with the mask the way it did when I was younger.

Perhaps that's why people react so strongly positive to the baldness and the butch-looking grow-out on me? I look more like "myself? *shrug*

Now I'm thinking about how the outside would look if it were a better match for the internal reality - not so way-out it scares people (in a bad way), but enough so that people can see a "somewhat edgy older woman who doesn't really look her age" (though, to paraphrase Gloria Steinem, this is what an almost-60-year-old woman looks like these days). It may limit what I can audition for, but I'm not getting those roles anyway and it should, hopefully, mean that I'll get sent out for and cast in more of the roles that I am a good fit for.

I'm going to be spending a good bit of time over the next few weeks thinking about how to do that.

Comments and suggestions are welcome. Even the snarky ones. :)

Eternal moonwalk - A tribute to Michael Jackson.

Kind of addictive to watch: kitties, children, people just walking backwards....

Thanks to my friend Charles Green.

More here

Thanks to my friend Mohamed El Emam:

Reporting from Beirut — The top leaders of Iran's elite Revolutionary Guard publicly acknowledged they had taken over the nation's security and warned late Sunday that there was no middle ground in the ongoing dispute over the reelection of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in a threat against a reformist wave led by Mir-Hossein Mousavi.

Maj. Gen. Mohammad Ali Jafari, commander of the elite military branch, said the Guard's takeover of the country had led to "a revival of the revolution and clarification of the value positions of the establishment at home and abroad."

Iran's Revolutionary Guard takes command - Los Angeles Times

From Gen JC Christian (JC_Christian) on Twitter:

Palin is smarter than Joe Plumber. No one gives her credit for that.

I saw #Palin heal a lame moose w/ her holy touch. Then she shot it.

I have the one true gourd touched by #palin 's hand. The shoe is a heresy.15 minutes ago from Tweed

Gen JC Christian (JC_Christian) on Twitter

Unscientific America: How Scientific Illiteracy Threatens Our Future is the new book by Chris and Sheril of The Intersection (formerly on ScienceBlogs, now at Discover), and they were kind enough to include me on the list of people getting review copies. It turned up on Friday (after I'd already started Newton and the Counterfeiter). I read it this afternoon, partly at lunch with SteelyKid (who, alas, was woken up by somebody else's ill-mannered child), but mostly in the back yard on a surprisingly pleasant afternoon. It's a quick read-- only 132 pages of text, plus 65 pages of (unmarked) endnotes.

This is a difficult book to review, because I already knew pretty much exactly what was in it. If you've read The Intersection these last few years, you do to-- the core argument of the book is essentially what Chris and Sheril have been advocating on-line for some time now: the standing and influence of science in our society is in decline for a variety of reasons, and it's partly the fault of scientists:

Unscientific America by Chris Mooney and Sheril Kirshenbaum : Uncertain Principles

Science was cool when I was a kid, to the point that I expected America to be a heck of a lot more evolved than it is now. Why is the country still held back by people whose only goal is to drag us kicking and screaming back to the late 19th century when their kind ruled?

Hundreds of years from now, it'll be the same: the minds of most of humanity nothing more than philosophical rope in a game of "tug of war" between visionaries and fundamentalists.

Think Progress » Bush Library Foundation President: Saddam’s Gun A Symbol That Bush ‘Disarmed Him Literally

The New York Times reports today that when President Bush opens his library at Southern Methodist University in 2013, “visitors will most likely get to see one of his most treasured items: Saddam Hussein’s pistol.”
Think Progress » Bush Library Foundation President: Saddam’s Gun A Symbol That Bush ‘Disarmed Him Literally’

"All hat, no cattle."

All cup, no junk....

...And you can join his "666 party"! http://tinyurl.com/lt66dj

I ran across the balloon dog looking for a balloon to use in my "party" photo, but it would have either been too large or so small you couldn't tell what it was. So now it's an LJ user icon - MWAhahaha!

From a bit of an article on Celtic Diva's Blue Oasis:

"There's got to be something below the surface that's about ready to come to the surface that quite potentially she just didn't want to deal with as governor," said Andrew Halcro, a Palin critic who lost the 2006 gubernatorial race to her.

There is, for example, a pending public records request from Linda Kellen Biegel, an Anchorage blogger who is seeking e-mails showing an effort by the Palin administration to smear her critics including those filing ethics complaints against the governor. Biegel, whose own ethics complaint was dismissed, also is seeking an investigation into the financial profits to the Palin family from racing sponsors of Palin's husband, Todd, in the 2,000-mile Iron Dog snowmobile race.

"There may be embarrassing things in there. I don't know," Biegel said. "I'm just as baffled as a lot of people."

Stapleton, Palin's spokeswoman, dismissed the rumors of damaging news on the horizon.

"No truth whatsoever. Period," she wrote in an e-mail to The Associated Press. "Just more nonsense from the same people who choose to waste state resources."

More: Celtic Diva's Blue Oasis

"Cool Cool Considerate Men" from 1776

"The "Cool Considerate Men" sequence from the restored version of the film. This sequence was cut out of the original release upon complaint by President Richard Nixon, for the song allegedly drew many parallels between the opponents of American Independence in 1776 to the modern conservative right."



Thanks to ann_mcn

Yesterday someone mildly chastised my husband for making a snarky comment about Sarah Palin. Palin has made the ridiculous claim that she could "beat" President Obama (at what? Shooting wolves from helicopters?) and my husband theorized that she couldn't even beat him in a wet Tee shirt contest. This person was upset that a woman governor was being "objectified", reduced to her physical traits.

I'm a feminist. I don't apologize for it and don't understand why anyone does. Being a feminist I don't believe in handling someone with kid gloves just because they are female. I loved that Katie Couric asked Palin exactly the kinds of questions that she would have asked a male VP candidate, and find hilarious Palin's whining that Couric didn't give her special treatment.

MS Palin, if you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch.

Not all female candidates are alike. Not all female candidates deserve equal treatment or consideration.

As mad as Hillary Clinton made me during the primary, I was irritated by the jokes about her appearance, about her being "frigid", about Bill being "whipped", etc. etc, etc. - why? Because Hillary Clinton, with all of her flaws, is still a brilliant human being who has worked hard her whole life, has created her own admirable body of work and connections (in fact, the odds are good that Bill would never have gotten where he is and has been without her) and has put herself forth as a statesman and an intellectual - therefore to attack her on her appearance and to joke about what her and Bill's marriage "might" be like is to diminish her considerable accomplishments in favor of purely malicious, sexist "humor".

Palin, on the other hand, got where she is via beauty pageants. Did McCain choose her as his running mate because of her accomplishments? It became very clear, very quickly that there was no intellect behind the heavily applied mask, no body of accomplishments leading to the governorship. Today's corporate-run GOP has become all about marketing to the lowest common denominator, so they look for male candidates who people might want to have a beer with, and they pass over their many accomplished female candidates to promote a woman that GOP horn-dogs might want to go to bed with. The kind of intellectual laziness that characterizes both George W. Bush and Sarah Palin is an asset.

In my opinion, Palin is kidding herself if she thinks the GOP will ever let her become THE GOP candidate for President unless they have no hope at all of winning (in which case they throw the voters a minority or woman with zero real party resources to back them up, as they continue to do with poor, pathetically loyal Alan Keyes) because, while they could count on George W. to go off and clear brush or ride his bike and sign off on whatever The Powers That Be want to do, MS. Palin might actually insist on trying to run things herself. She's fine as a "pretty" face lounging in front of a bear skin but T.P.T.B. wouldn't want her running anything that really matters (and, let's face it, Alaska does not matter).

The fact that her makeup is so heavy, that she works so hard at being "pretty" is, IMO, an indication of self-loathing. I'd almost be tempted to feel sorry for her if she hadn't turned out to be so vicious. On the other hand I do feel terribly sorry for the Palin children. What kind of mother shoves her "unwed-mother" child out on the national stage as the poster child for abstinence-only sex education? One who is completely self-centered.

Sarah Palin is Cordelia Chase, without the underlying courage and potentially redeeming qualities.

Loud Twitter is down. Death by spam.

RT thenation Slide Show: The Nation's Presidents http://tinyurl.com/nhd4e7about 23 hours ago from web

RT TehranBureau Dispatch from Tehran: The Writing on the Wall http://tehranbureau.com/wri...about 23 hours ago from web

RT anamariecox Tom Frank explains why the GOP uses a $400 hammer on every nail. http://tr.im/qrFz (via @DukeStJournal)about 23 hours ago from web

This brainless nonsense has to stop - RT EdgeOnTheNet Military board: Discharge gay NY National Guard officer :: http://bit.ly/KUmL6

RT politicalticker" Gates considering selective enforcement of 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell'" - http://tinyurl.com/mzhamlabout 23 hours ago from web

RT CollinKelley RT @TheAdvocateMag: New RW grps sprouting: http://tinyurl/nngejfabout 16 hours ago from mobile web

Momma likes Green Day. We're turning her into an 88 year-old head-bangin' punk rocker. :)about 15 hours ago from txt

Billboard seen on I 20: Need god? Lease this sign.about 14 hours ago from txt

Wow! They've made a film of "The Stoning of Soraya M" - very powerful, deeply disturbing book.about 14 hours ago from txt

L!!! - Written in the dirt on the back of a "Saia" truck on I-285: "FLASHEM if you love Jesus!"about 14 hours ago from txt

"Taliban "opium" haul turns out to be food crop : SciencePunk" http://bit.ly/16kU3Xabout 8 hours ago from BigTweet

My Husband: Sarah Palin thinks she could beat President Obama Sarah Palin couldn't beat Obama in a wet t-shirt contest. At a frat party.about 8 hours ago from web

*Isn't it odd how so many talented British comic actors are also really good at teaching social studies and science?about 10 hours ago from web

*Watching Baldrick scraping a cowhide at a tannery on "The Worst Jobs in History - *NASTY*!about 11 hours ago from web

*YAY FOR AL FRANKEN! WHOO-HOO!about 16 hours ago from txt

*RT @TIME: With U.S. pullout, Iraq takes ownership of its war http://tr.im/qjsx about 23 hours ago from web

*Dumbass Quote of the Day (from Kim Jong-Il) : Dispatches from the Culture Wars - http://shar.es/uMZ0 about 23 hours ago from ShareThis.com

• 11:17 Waiting for the 5 Catholics on S.C.o.t.U.S. to declare the 13th & 19th amendments & what little remains of the B.o.R. "unconstitutional" #
• 11:26 TehranBureau"Feminist" uprising? Just posted a great piece from Golbarg Bashi about it bit.ly/4v1gAQ #
• 12:57 Religious oppression by Fundamentalist Christians in the military - shar.es/u4PG #
• 14:42 Settling down to watch the first disc of "Witchblade" - my idea of a "chick show" :) #
• 15:20 ..."the Iran I had grown up in was nothing like that movie, Not Without My Daughter" RT - 'Thank You' - tehranbureau.com/thank-you #
• 23:54 Via my friend Peg Thon: Support Lt. Dan Choi before Tuesday's trial & fight D.A.D.T. www.couragecampaign.org/page/s/SupportDan #

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From: A Typical MRFF Letter : Dispatches from the Culture Wars

..."my husband (raised Catholic and an agnostic now) found himself under investigation for (infraction withheld) and then they finally dug until they found (minor infraction name withheld) that were present and could not be denied. My husband, scared for his pension and his family, plead guilty to some of the charges leveled against him. Ultimately, (husband's name withheld) was given an honorable discharge and his pension. Anyways, this commander of his called me often, telling me that "if you accept Jesus Christ as your savior, then things will go better for (husband's name withheld)." He went to the brig yes-the judge sent a (rank withheld) to the brig for 45 days)and then asked to pray over my husband, telling him if he just confessed his "sins" to "Jesus Christ" then he would find things getting better for him. Of course (husband's name withheld) gave his commander permission to pray over him as he was terrified to say no-because we believe all of this stemmed from my husband's stance on the illegality of evangelical proselytising in the (service branch name withheld)"...

More: a href="http://scienceblogs.com/dispatches/2009/06/a_typical_mrff_letter.php

• 10:06 New Whedonverse Interactive Mega-Community on LiveJournal: community.livejournal.com/whedonland #
• 10:33 The Stonewall Riots - Frank Rich: 40 Years Later, Still Second-Class Americans
  www.nytimes.com/2009/06/28/opinion/28rich.html #
• 10:35 It was 40 years ago today - how the Stonewall riots started the gay rights movement bit.ly/L717U #
• 11:21 Weekend Project: Potato Gatling Gun : Living the Scientific Life (Scientist, Interrupted) - shar.es/7S6A #
• 11:34 Snowball and his backup dancers - Bird Boogie : Living the Scientific Life (Scientist, Interrupted) - shar.es/7SiE #
• 11:51 how cults rewire the brain : Greg Laden's Blog - shar.es/7VXR #
• 12:05 'Gayby boom': Children of gay couples speak out - bit.ly/tjFCl #cnn #
• 14:44 I must' been more ill than I realized in 2005 & 2007 because I really don't remember the last 2 HP films. But then, it's like seeing the ... #

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